The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad
news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into
the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't
well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber.
There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually
approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were
curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told
her friends they were drinking to her impending
end. 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were
aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty
retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and
whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and
you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do
that??' 'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with
your father after I'm gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs in Order
